admit it, we’ve all fantasised about slow-dancing in the kitchen barefoot in our pyjamas at 2am in the arms of someone we love while old romantic jazz songs play softly on the radio
Three rules for couples opening up their relationship
A lot of polyamorous relationships start with a couple opening up and laying down some ground rules to ensure their safety as an existing couple. After all, it is a dangerous world out there, and you never know who might want to threaten the home you spend to much energy building.
I have distilled for you some of the most important rules you NEED to have if you are a couple opening up your relationship.
Do not go out with people whose inhumane beauty makes you want to grovel at their feet. Chances are they are an angel whose sight was simply not meant for us humans to behold, whose very radiance burns into your retina even with your eyes closed, and whose piercing voice will haunt your dreams for seven years.
Don’t invite new partners into your home unless you have been dating for a while. There have been a lot of vampire sightings lately, and once you invite them in, they will crash on your couch for days, promising to leave “tomorrow” whenever you address the subject.
Do not have sex with your new partner in the spousal bed. It is your most intimate place in the whole house, and both werewolves and nighthags can pick up your spouse’s scent from there. (Also, werewolf fur is bloody hard to get out of your sheets).
Communicate, communicate, communicate! Personally, my favored method of communication is telepathy, but others prefer divining their partner’s intentions from tea leaves or the shape of clouds in the sky. There is no right or wrong way, you do you!
That’s it for today, folks! Remember to renew your wards and stay tuned for a new issue of polyamory facts!
